Gratuitous People of the Day

In a world where life is fair, good people get rewarded for doing good things and bad people are punished for their misdeeds, Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt would be working at a Taco Bell, not posing for the paparazzi at the fast food chain's drive-thru window.  The pair, who have never met a photo opportunity they didn't love, worked the drive-thru window to raise money for World Hunger.  Check out the TMZ video, where a pap asks Heidi whether Jesus loves Taco Bell and her response is, "Jesus loves everything."

Doing My Duty

Hollywood is not messing around with the upcoming election.  Tons of the Hollywood elite, including Leonardo DiCaprio, Forest Whitaker, Dustin Hoffman, Jonah Hill, Sarah Silverman and many, many more got together to make this little video guilting you into voting (or at least registering to vote.)  It's totally non-partison.  And it's effective.  I almost went to register and I've been registered for years.  Who wouldn't want to after seeing Courtney Cox whine about not having friends, Sarah Silverman take off her bra, Ellen wonder about your porn watching habits, etc.  Watch the video above.  Tell 5 of your friends.  And so on and so on.

Gratuitous Picture of the Day

Begging hasn't worked.  Ordering hasn't worked.  Telling people they'll be cool if they do it hasn't worked.  The world coming so much closer to destruction hasn't worked.  So now, it appears, Jessica Alba is trying to scare us into voting in this year's election.  Guess even Alba can't pull off the Hannibal Lector look.

Gratuitous Picture of the Day

Is it just me or aren't gay men supposed to get more attractive after they come out of the closet?  Isn't that the rule?  If so, someone forgot to give the handbook to the newly outed Clay Aiken.  Cause there are just so many things wrong with his post-Spamalot look.

Gratuitous Picture of the Day

Mischa Barton was in Italy this weekend, and apparently, she was in a Goth state of mind.  The black clothes, the black eyeliner, the "I hate the world (or the paparazzi)" grimace.  Our little Marissa has most definitely left "The O.C." far behind.

The Presidential Debates - Part 1

As no one can argue that the upcoming election is just as entertaining and drama-filled as any reality television program, I feel that last night's election deserves a little talking about.  It wasn't the all-out brawl I was hoping for, but there were some interesting points that deserve a little mention or two.

"Debate" actually means "debate" - For some reason, McCain and Obama had a very difficult time grasping the meaning of "debate" last night.  No matter how hard Jim Lehrer tried, the two absolutely refused to talk directly to each other on the matters at hand.  They clearly preferred the "Tell Obama that I said he doesn't know anything about foreign policy," "Tell McCain that he's George Bush's lapdog" approach.  I guess they wanted to say mean things, but they were both taught not to say them to each other's faces.

The SNL angle - When watching debates, I catch myself wondering how SNL will be parodying them the next day.  My guess?  Regarding McCain, they'll pick up on his snickering when he didn't like an answer, his constant refrain of, "What Senator Obama doesn't seem to understand is...." and his snapping at Lehrer when the moderator asked him to direct his answer to his opponent.  As far as Obama goes, my guess is  his signalling that he'd like to interrupt McCain every ten seconds, his constant refrain of, "That's not true" and his almost, but not quite forgetting the name of the soldier whose bracelet he was wearing.  I also think they might have Sarah Palin and Hillary Clinton storm the stage at some point.

The Financial Crisis- I think what we learned from the generic answers to very specific questions about the current financial crisis is that these guys don't know what to do about it, either.  Lehrer restated his question four times in four different ways and again, no matter how heard he tried, neither man was willing to directly answer the question about how they would handle the crisis or how it will affect their plans as president.  Hmmm, that can't be good.

Foreign policy- Where the real meat of the debate was supposed to be centered.  What I basically got out of it was that McCain loves him some General Patreaus and that I'm a little scared he'll jump out of his seat and bitch-slap a world leader that he doesn't like the look of.  And from Obama, I got that he wants to end the war while not sacrificing programs in the US, but may have to rely on Joe Biden for some serious help in the foreign arena.... Hmm, well, those things aren't great either.

Who won?- Got me.  I'm biased and already know who's got my vote.  According to the rest of the web world, though, sounds like it was a pretty even tie.

Gratuitous Picture of the Day

No, they're not dating in real life.  Yes, Jim Halpert and Pam Beesley are fictional characters.  But you tell me two fictional characters who seem more realistic than those two?  Which makes it all the better that they got engaged last night.  And that Ryan is now the Dunder Mifflin receptionist.  Congratulations, Jam!

Don't Piss Off Dave

There are few people in this world that a presidential candidate can't blow off.  Maybe the current president.  Maybe their campaign manager.  And apparently, David Letterman.

John McCain made a BIG mistake by cancelling an appearance on "The Late Show" at the very last minute.  It's clear from the video (which you can watch above) that being stood up was a big enough offense in the host's eyes to warrant a 5 minute talking down by the gap-toothed host.  But then, McCain made an even bigger mistake. 

It turns out the presidential candidate, who claimed to have cancelled his Letterman appearance to return to Washington to help with the economic crisis, had actually double-booked and was prepping for an interview with fellow CBS host, Katie Couric.  And when Letterman found that out, the sparks really started to fly.

So, political lesson #1, don't stand up arguably the most popular late night host of the past couple of decades.  Cause he's not going to let you off the hook and he's going to take his audience with him.

Gratuitous Picture of the Day

The last accessory you expect to see on Carrie Bradshaw's arm is a bundled up toddler.  But contrary to popular belief, Sarah Jessica Parker is not actually our beloved sex columnist and she does have an adorable little offspring, James, with her hubby, Matthew Broderick, whom she took for a walk in New York yesterday.

Gratuitous Picture of the Day

I get very excited whenever I have a Kirk Cameron sighting.  Remember when he was considered a television bad boy?  Man, that was a long time ago.  No, he hasn't joined the firefighters.  He's just plugging his new movie, "Fireproof," about a fireman who challenges his wife to a Love Dare.  No, really.

Gratuitous Picture of the Day

Someone please explain to me the "magic" of David Blaine?  His latest trick involves him hanging upside down over Wollman Rink in Central Park.  So is the magic watching his head explode from an overflow of blood to the noggin?  Or watching him go splat when the wire breaks and not being able to ice skate for the rest of the season?  Tada!

Gratuitous Picture of the Day

And the winner is...30 Rock.  30 Rock.  30 Rock.  30 Rock!  Even Alec Baldwin knows enough to bow to a television goddess like Tina Fey, who cleaned up at the Emmy's last night.  Go Liz Lemon!

Gratuitous Picture of the Day

Sarah Jessica Parker looked like a dominatrix.  Cynthia Nixon looked like the belle of the ball.  Kim Cattrell looked like...well, Samantha.  But Mario Cantone is the only one at the "Sex and the City" DVD release party at the New York Public Library who threw Manolos.  And that is why he has the honor of the gratuitous picture of the day.

Gratuitous Picture of the Day

No, this is not a celebrity.  But considering the state of politics, the state of our banks and finances, the state of entertainment and basically, the state of the world at large, I think it is important to take note when pigs actually start flying.

Reality TV School

Wonder how to "Rock of Love" and "Flavor of Love" girls learn how to get in each other's faces just so?  Think you have what it takes to be an "American Idol," but just can't make it out of the starting gate?  Finally, there's a school to educate you in all of the ins and outs of reality television casting.  For the low, low price of $139, you too can degrade yourself for small amounts of money on national television.  Get the full story here.  (and check out the founder of the Reality TV school on The View in the clip above.) 

So, who's enrolling with me?

Gratuitous Picture of the Day

No, this is not the newest cast member of "Gossip Girl."  It's little Dakota Fanning.  All grown up and promoting the movie, "Hounddog," which has also been christened with the charming nickname, "The Dakota Fanning Rape Movie."  They grow up so fast, don't they?

Are Heidi and Spencer In On The Joke?

No matter how I feel about my current relationship status, I can be sure that there are worse things in this world.  Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt celebrated her birthday by throwing the fakest "private" picnic I've ever seen.  Watching "The Hills," watching Heidi's latest videos or Pratt's smarmy talk on various entertainment-based shows, I can't help but ask... "Is this all an elaborate Punk on the entire world? Cause these two aren't even trying to pretend like they're not doing all of this for the cameras." 

Gratuitous Picture of the Day

So here's the pitch.  "Evita 2."  Eva Peron returns from the dead in the form of a sometimes stereotypical Italian mobster.  She/he sends orders to have Che Gueverra "sleep with the fishes" before being gunned down by some Argentinian peasants.  You don't like it?  Well, Robert DeNiro did.  That's the only explanation for him doing an Evita impression at the premiere of "Righteous Kill"

Gratuitous Picture of the Day

Sarah Silverman taking a bite out of crime?  Checking to see if her Emmy award is pure gold?  Trying to see how much she can actually fit in her mouth at one time?  You be the judge.  All I know is that it is unbelievably awesome that she won an Emmy for her Jimmy Kimmel song, "I'm F***ing Matt Damon."  (I've embedded both her song and Kimmel's reponse above.  You've probably seen them, but watch them again.)

Gratuitous Picture of the Day

You may not agree with her personal choices.  You may not like her music.  You may think she's the greatest thing since sliced bread or devil span.  But one thing is sure.  You cannot deny that Madonna (at Wembley Stadium during her Sticky and Sweet tour) looks pretty damn good for 50.  Certainly better than Britney did in that same black bikini get-up a year ago.

Gratuitous Picture of the Day

A small pause from gossip.  A picture of buildings that represent a day and people we always need to remember, no matter how hard it might be.  But not the way they were that day.  This is the way I think to remember them.  Sitting in my dorm room window watching the sun set behind the towers.

Another Simpson Forgets Her Lyrics

The Simpson girls (Jessica and Ashley, not Lisa and Marge) need to do a little work on memorization techniques.  What with Ashley's SNL debacle and Jessica's "9-5" debacle at The Kennedy Center, you'd think Poppa Joe would've invested in a memory class or two.  But no such luck.  Jessica appeared on The Today Show and managed to not only forget the lyrics to a song she's been singing for several years, but also to take the classy route, like her little sister and blame the band.  (Watch it all unfold above)

Gratuitous Picture of the Day

No, that's not a strange foreign man cuddling with Mark Ruffalo at a Q&A for "The Brothers Bloom".  That's Oscar winner Adrian Brody displaying some questionable man-scaping in the form of a scruffy beard.  Here's hoping it's for a role that brings him back to Oscar glory.  Because that is the only acceptable excuse for it.

One last Ebert and Roeper Review

Yes, "At the Movies with Ebert and Roeper (and Siskel)" may be a thing of the past now.  But "Entourage" provided a goodbye to the show that the networks weren't classy enough to give.  Would've been better if Roger Ebert had been around to give the thumbs down personally, but we'll make the best of what we've got.  Click above to see Richard Roeper and Michael Phillip's review of the Entourage movie, "Medellin" and enjoy.

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Oh, Edward Norton.  So intense.  So angry.  So dreamy.  Hulk Smash.  Why won't you be mine?

Knocking Oasis Down

Even when they're not fighting with each other, the members of Oasis can't seem to stay out of trouble.  During a performance last night, a disgruntled "fan" jumped onto the stage in the middle of Oasis's set and knocked Noel Gallagher right off his feet.  Observing the video above, you'll notice that Liam makes some very macho gestures that appear as if he'll reciprocate the attack, but determined roadies seem to have kept that from happening.  Noel was admitted to the hospital after the fall resulted in him possibly fracturing a few ribs on a monitor speaker.  Sympathies to Noel for the incident, but isn't it nice to know that the Gallagher brothers can put their differences aside when it comes to other people beating them up.

Gratuitous Picture of the Day

There are too many captions to choose from here... The blonde leading the blonde?  The MTV VMAs usher in the fifth sign of the apocalypse?  Oh, how a year changes things... Show me up.  What caption have you got for the momentous onstage meeting of Britney and Paris?

Born Free By Way of Youtube

It was only a matter of time before we started getting word that internet sensations like "Chocolate Rain", LonelyGirl15 or Chris Crocker were going have their stories translated for the big screen.  The film community is still in the process of deciding how best to translate viral video into multiplex major money.  Now, according to Reuters, they've taken a first step towards solving that problem.  And it's a good one.

The reunion of Christian the Lion, the big cat that was purchased from a London department store and was raised by humans, and his former owners,  has been one of the internet sensations of the year.  And now, that 2:30 Youtube video and the story behind it will head for the big screen. 

Something tells me "March of the Lion Cubs" isn't far behind.

Gratuitous Picture of the Day

There are many, many talented and famous actors in Hollywood that have never received a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.  When the Walk of Fame committee dug into their grab bag and pulled out a name (who, granted, was ready with the funds to pay for that shiny star in the sidewalk), of course it was Howie Mandel.  No really.  The guy that opens suitcases for a living.  Who used to wear a rubber glove on his head.  Yeah, life's fair.

Reasons to Love Jon Stewart

Not that anyone needs more than one reason to love Jon Stewart, but "The Daily Show" coverage of both the DNC and RNC have been on the exceptional side this year.  I was really hoping to post the bizarrely hysterical interview between Stewart and news anchor Brian Williams (who has repeatedly displayed that he missed his true calling as a sketch comedian), but unfortunately, the YouTube community doesn't seem to have appreciated that interview as much as I do.  Instead, enjoy Stewart's interview with Newt Gingrich.  Watch as he actually talks Gingrich into the ground and then spins him a couple more times, just for good measure. (BTW- No offense is meant to anyone with different political beliefs than myself.  I just think this is some impressive journalism from someone who is not a journalist.)

Gratuitous Picture of the Day, Part 2

It seems the mustache was just the beginning of Robert Downey Jr's tour o' wackiness.  He celebrated the Japanese premiere of "Iron Man" with a strange man dressed in what, I assume, is the Asian version of Iron Man armour as the pair broke a large bottle of sake together.  I smell a hit new Japanese game show in the making.

Gratuitous Picture of the Day, Part 1

This is either the work of a really mean-spirited paparazzi who was purposefully trying to see up Anne Hathaway's fluffy skirt - or Anne's PR people really need to talk to her about getting a good shot from any angle.  Anne's awkward moment was captured during a screening of her new movie, "Rachel Getting Married" at the Venice Film Festival.

The Bitch is Back

Yes, it is an admittedly easy headline to go to.  But there is no other way to describe the uneasy "banter" that went on between GQ Award hosts singer Lily Allen and original bitch Elton John.  As Allen got more and more intoxicated onstage, John got more and more annoyed until a full-fledged cat fight emerged.  Lily, you shouldn't even try.  Above is a video of the pinnacle of the evening.  But you can catch the full battle at TMZ.com (Much as it pains me to link to TMZ).

Gratuitous Picture of the Day

Apologies for the logos all over the picture, but this was a little too good to pass up.  Breaking News - Donnie Wahlberg, former and current member of "New Kids On the Block" has mastered "here is the church, here is the steeple."

Gratuitous Picture of the Day

Seems like everyone (with the possible exception of John Mayer and Jennifer Aniston) is deliriously happy with babies and weddings galore.  This weekend, it was "Sopranos" star James Gandolfini's turn, as he wed former model Deborah Lin in Hawaii.  Who knew the mob man could get so mushy?

Gratuitous Picture of the Day

Is it really surprising to anyone that Sharon Stone managed to snag herself a boyfriend that is literally half her age?  One of the original cougars and her man, Chase Dreyfous, who I'm guessing has watched the interrogation scene from "Basic Instinct" more than one, were snapped hanging out by a car.

Gratuitous Picture of the Day

Why does "Gossip Girl" star Blake Lively look so surprised by the paparazzi's glare outside "Late Night With David Letterman"?  Because she forgot her pants, of course.

Gratuitous Picture of the Day

There is nothing not funny about "30 Rock."  There is nothing not funny about Will Arnett.  Therefore, this means that any "30 Rock" episode featuring Will Arnett must be frickin' hilarious.  And if we need further proof, Arnett was snapped yesterday filming an episode from the new season and it's already got me giggling.

Gratuitous Picture of the Day

Okay, maybe not gratuitous.  And no, this is really isn't the celebrity baby blog.  But who would've thought that Jack Black could produce such a cute baby?  Looks like Black, with his wife, Tanya and son, Samuel were having a little fun getting muddy in the park.  At least, I hope that's the case.  Otherwise, I don't want to know what the brown stuff on Black's leg is.

Jo Jo Goes D'oh

Remember the R&B group K-Ci and Jo Jo?  '90s group.  Had that one hit, "All My Life?"  Well, apparently, they still perform.  But maybe they shouldn't.  During a performance in Sydney, Australia, something went a little wrong with Jo Jo (right around the minute mark in the video, you start to see the trouble) and before they reach the next chorus, he's on the floor.  But clearly, K-Ci lives by the "show must go on" mantra cause he didn't flinch.  I'm not sure what's more disturbing about it - that they let Jo Jo lie there for so long or the little marionette routine at the end.  Definitely worth a viral video watch.

New York, I Love You

No, I'm not talking about VH1's queen of "reality" histrionics.  There's a trailer out for a new compiliation film, a companion piece to 2006's "Paris, je'taime".  After spreading the love in the City of Lights, Hollywood has decided to turn its heart to the Big Apple and it's brought along a lot of celebrities to help.  There are so many famous people in this trailer (see above), it's impossible to keep track of them all.  But here's a rundown of just some of the featured players: Shia LaBeouf, Cloris Leachman, Blake Lively, Natalie Portman, Hayden Christiansen, Christina Ricci, Orlando Bloom, Kevin Bacon, Robin Wright Penn, Ethan Hawke, Olivia Thirlby (is there any movie this girl isn't in this year?), James Caan, Bradley Cooper, Chris Cooper, Drea de Matteo, Goran Visnjic, Eli Wallach and Julie Christie.

Gratuitous Picture of the Day

Today's picture may not be exciting to anyone in the world but me.  But "Hello Dolly" has a special place in my heart.  And Debra Messing (this is a shot from an upcoming episode of her show, "The Starter Wife") is kind of a dead ringer for Carol Channing.  Who knew?

Gratuitous Picture of the Day

Just when you think Heidi Montag couldn't get any more desperate for publicity, she adds another 13.2 seconds of fame to her star with her new video "Overdosin'" featuring Montag in a series of pop culture parodies including this salute to Olivia Newton John's "Physical." Oh Lauren Conrad, what hath you wrought upon us?

Best Song Title of the Month

I may be a little slow getting to the party with the song "The World Should Revolve Around Me" by Little Jackie, but I"ve got to give it a plug.  It's bouncy, it's catchy, it bizarrely has a cameo appearance by Rosie Perez.  And it really is quite the catchy hook and title.  Just try not to bounce when you see it. (check out the video above)

Healthiest Divorce in Rock & Roll?

Who's having the healthiest divorce in rock?  Is it possible that it might Pink???  The wild child pop star pokes fun at the months following a serious break-up and comes to the conclusion that she's cool with it all.  But even cooler?  Her very recent ex-husband Cary Hart appears to be in on the joke.  He's in the video.  As himself. (see the full video above)

Gratuitous Picture of the Day

Leighton Meester of "Gossip Girl" fame.  Auditioning for a role in the upcoming "Plate Head"?  Hoping to check her reflection in styrofoam?  Or just over the paparazzi's glare?

World's Tallest Leprechaun?

Will Farrell decked himself out in green while walking the streets of Dublin, Ireland.  Farrell, who recently discovered Irish descendents in his close family, was clearly out to either 1) blend in with the locals, who must obviously wear green all the time because they're Irish or 2) to research his role as The Leprechaun in the remake of the classic '80s horror flick.  Discuss.

Gratuitous Picture of the Day

Ahhh, Jessica Simpson.  Still milking the dumb blonde bit for all it's worth.  Except that now, she's encouraging her teeny-bopper fan base to drink heavily.  There is so a space in the next Surreal Life house just waiting for her.

Gratuitous Picture of the Day

Okay, I caved.  Suri looks so uncomfortable in most of the paparazzi shots that I just feel bad posting one.  But when she starts waving to the camera, all bets are off.  World, cute little Suri Cruise.  Cute little Suri, world.

Gratuitous Picture of the Day

Okay, not so gratuitous.  But this is a cute pic of Amy Adams in Amelia Earhart mode, flanked by Ben Stiller in museum guard mode.  The pair are in the middle of filming that eagerly awaited by 10-year-olds sequel "Night at the Museum 2."

World Peace Picture of the Day

 If ever there was an argument for why world peace is unequivocably possible - the Jolie/Pitt brood is it.  Pax, Viv, Zahara, Knox, Shiloh and Maddox (as pictured by lucky People Magazine) can get along.  Why can't we?

Gratuitous Picture of the Day

Could you ask for two better soulmates?  Who else but Borat's mate, Isla Fisher, would not think twice about turning cartwheels when the paparazzi are hanging out nearby.

Heroes: Villains

I know I'm not the only one who can't wait for "Heroes" (how many years has it been since we last saw an episode of this show?)  To wet our appetites, here's the latest trailer from NBC.

Gratuitous Picture of the Day

I guess those "Parents Worst Nightmare" ads for "Gossip Girl" were no joke.  This pic from the upcoming season sure looks like they're jumping right into the cat fights and mayhem.  It's like Dynasty, for kids!

Muppet Olympics

I'm a sucker for anything involving the Muppets (or puppets in general).  So imagine my excitement when I caught wind of Kanye West's newest video, "Champion," (see above) which features the ego-tastic singer in all his Muppet glory.

The Sound of Music 2?

Is it possible that Barack Obama is putting in a bid to play Maria Von Trapp in "The Sound of Music 2"  Sure looks that way to me.

A Trailer About a Doc About a Movie that Doesn't Exist

Everyone's excited for "Tropic Thunder" (released last night).  But I'm more excited for the mockumentary "Rain of Thunder," a "Heart of Darkness" making of about the making of the movie in "Tropic Thunder."  I don't care how good or bad the actual movie is.  This trailer makes me giggle.

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Robert Downey Jr.

Sporting a porn mustache?

Preparing to play Inigo Montoya in a "Princess Bride" remake?

You be the judge.

Legitimately Fierce

Well, it's about time.  After years of calling strong-featured contestants on "America's Next Top Model" drag queens, Tyra has finally gone out and found herself a real transsexual.  Isis (pictured above) is 22 and still has her male body parts intact.  She also out-modelled several of last cycle's contestants during the homeless picture shoot.  You know she's going at least top 6.

Gratuitous Picture of the Day

I don't think I was alone in not being jazzed about the upcoming videogame movie, "Prince of Persia" starring Jake Gyllenhaal.  But I may have to rethink my stance after seeing this pic of Jake with sweetie Reese Witherspoon.

Going to the Source

Aintitcool.com

Entertainment Weekly

TV Guide.com

EOnline.com

Gawker.com

The Daynabase.com

Cinema Spy

DeNiro's Getting Serious

Finally!  Several years after Robert DeNiro declared (through "Meet the Parents" and "The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle") that he would only continue his career playing a parody of his former self, there's a chance for a return to DeNiro greatness.  And the man to help him?  Martin Scorsese, of course.

According to Aintitcool News, DeNiro will team up with the man who created the DeNiro legend in the first place, for the movie, "I Heard You Paint Houses," written by Steven Zallian, who also wrote "Schindler's List" and Scorsese's "Gangs of New York."  DeNiro will play mobster Frank "The Irishman" Sheehan, who claimed that he was the one to murder and dismember Jimmy Hoffa.  So we've got an Oscar-winning legendary director, an Oscar-winning screenwriter, a high pedigree mob drama and DeNiro.

What could possibly go wrong?

Runway Rundown- Episode 12

Spoiler Alert- If you haven't seen the episode, don't bother looking.

Episode Title: Nature Calls

Challenge -  Create an evening gown inspired by nature.

Designer quote of the show -"Korto.  I don't like anything she does.  I don't like what any of the designers do.  I think Jarrell throws a bunch of glamorous s*** together and it looks like a craft project.  Leann does pleated details with a muted color palate.  It's been done." tied with Jarrell again - "Korto, Leanne and Jarrell at the tent.  At the tent."

Judge quote of the show-Kenley's dressing down by all three judges.  Heidi called her annoying.  Nina called her rude.  Michael asked if she gave a damn.  And Kenley's response was an eye roll.  Of course.  Tied with - "Imagine her response to if a buyer says, "I don't like that sleeve."  What's she gonna do?  Take out a knife and kill them?" - Michael Kors regarding Kenley's attitude

Tim Gunn quote- "It's therapuetic unless you're Joan Crawford.  And a control freak.  And you don't want the bloom to fade." - regarding gardening

Oddball moment: Am I the only one that thought all of the dresses were kind of ugly?  tied with all of the designers bursting into tears both before the show and during judging.  They must have seriously deprived them of sleep.  I haven't seen that much crying since Andre left the runway in season 2.

Winning designer:Jarrell

Winning look:

Losing designer: No one.  LAAAAAAME.  It's not a surprise when you did the SAME thing with Chris French and Rami last year.

"Celebrity" Apprentice is Back

Not that "The Apprentice" has been the "number 1 show" (as Donald Trump is so fond of saying) for several years, but the new cast of "Celebrity Apprentice" was announced today and it's just wacky enough to merit a little proclimation.

Coming off of last year's Marilu Henner/Gene Simmons/Stephen Baldwin/Trace Atkins mega-season, who could Trump possibly bring in to grovel at his feet?  Let's take a look

Claudia Jordan - Deal or No Deal suitcase girl/former Barker's Beauty on The Price is Right

Brian McKnight - Singer of romantic R&B smash hits

Tom Green - Former "Tom Green Show" host and all-around annoying dude.  I'm actually excited to see him try to pull Trump's toupee off.

Khloe Kardashian - Famous for being the less famous sister of a girl who is famous for having a big butt and a sex tape.  Yeah, she's a celebrity.

Dennis Rodman - Former basketball player/tallest cross-dresser since RuPaul

Joan Rivers - Comedianne/Red Carpet commentator/record holder for most plastic surgery done on a single person

Melissa Rivers - Daughter of Joan.  Red Carpet commentator/spokesman for Nepotism "R Us

Andrew Dice Clay - Shock comedian who would probably seem pretty tame by today's standards.

Tionne "T-Boz" Watkins - Former member of "TLC" - one of the saner ones

Herschel Walker - Widely considered one of the greatest college football players of all time.  That's all I've got.

Scott Hamilton - Olympic Champion figure skater.  Not to be confused with Mark Hamill (AKA, Luke Skywalker)

Annie Duke- Female poker playing champion.  Bet she could kick Trump's butt with her poker face

Clint Black - Country singing stud.  Will take the requisite "Good ol' country boy" spot

Natalie Gulbis - Hot golfing girl that I have absolutely no knowledge of.

Brande Roderick - Former "Baywatch" babe that never quite reached Pamela Anderson or even Nicole Eggert levels of fame

Jesse James - Host of Monster Garage and husband of Sandra Bullock.  He's going to get ripped to shreds if he doesn't force her to appear on the show.

Robin Gets His Time to Shine

Poor Robin.  The Boy Wonder always gets the short shrift in the superhero world.  First, there are the rumors about his fling with Batman.  Then they cut him out of the original Batman films.  When they finally do bring him into the fold, he's partially blamed for the destruction of the Batman franchise.  And then they cut him out of the Dark Knight series again.

Well, Robin may be about to get his due.  Kelly Souders and Brian Peterson, the creators of the Clark Kent-centric "Smallville" have identified their next high school superhero and it's Dick Greyson, AKA, Robin.  The show, entitled "The Graysons" will follow young "DJ" through his formative years, before he meets up with the Dark Knight.  It sounds as though the production will stray from the Batman mythology, as they did with the characters of "Smallville."  Greyson will most likely not be a circus performer this time around.  Which is kind of a shame, as who doesn't enjoy seeing the boys of the CW twirling around in tights?

Weirdest Remake of the Year Award Goes To....

Remember when Lisa Bonet decided to break the Cosby ranks and made that bizarre movie, "Angel Heart" with Mickey Rourke?  You know, the one that involved sacrificing chickens and voodoo and lots of blood and sex and things that Cosby kids shouldn't be doing?

Well, even though the original film was by no means a box office smash, producer Michael DeLuca ("21") has decided to give "Angel Heart" a second shot.  Deluca claims that the original novel is filled with levels of depth that the original movie failed to bring to the plate.  No word yet on whether DeLuca will try to bring Rourke, who's having a career renaissance thanks to his role in Darren Aronofsky's "The Wrestler", Bonet or Robert DeNiro will take part in the new film.

But I'm thinking it's time to wreck another child star's career.  Who should play the voodoo queen originally tackled by Bonet?  Dakota Fanning?  Miley Cyrus?  Hilary Duff?  Ravon Symone?  So many wonderful possibilities.

Scar Jo and R. Rey Tie the Knot

Alanis Morrisette officially has material for another album.  Over the weekend, ridiculously good-looking couple Scarlett Johansson and (Alanis ex) Ryan Reynolds tied the knot.

The seriously press shy couple didn't share any details on the marriage, but we do that it happened in Canada less than a year after the couple's engagement.  Which shouldn't be a surprise considering that the couple became engaged 4 months after they began dating.

Adding insult to injury, Reynolds was engaged to Morrisette for several years, but never actually made it to the alter.  I smell material for "You Really Oughta Know"

Heather Locklear D.U.I.

Once upon a time, Heather Locklear played a cop alongside T.J. Hooker.  She battled criminals and slid across car tops in her skin tight policelady uniform.  Oh how times have changed.

Locklear was arrested over the weekend for driving under the influence - although what the influence was is still in question.  The sitcom superstar has had a rough couple of months battling rumored depression with a shortned stint at a rehab facility.  Perhaps she should've stayed there a bit longer.

Witnesses reported watching Locklear repeatedly drive and back over a pair of sunglasses in the middle of a busy California street.  When followed further, Locklear was reported to have stepped out of her car into a busy intersection and stumbled around.  When police arrived on the scene, they determined that the cause of Locklear's strange behavior was not alcohol, but possible some sort of drug.  So now you can add Heather Locklear's really terrible mugshot to the list of other celebs like Mel Gibson, Nick Nolte, Lindsay Lohan, Hugh Grant, etc. etc.

Hollywood Loses a Legend

Sad, sad news out of Hollywood today.  After a long battle with cancer, Hollywood legend Paul Newman has died.

The 10-time Oscar nominated actor was 83 years old, and died at home surrounded by his friends and family.  Newman was one of the last hold-outs of the golden age of Hollywood - an actor that combined grace, sexiness and tough-guy appeal in a rare package that was loved by men and women alike.  His roles in films like "The Hustler," "Cool Hand Luke," "Exodus," his Oscar-winning turn in "The Color of Money" and many, many, many other roles forever cemented him as one of the great leading men.

Even more impressive, Newman was a member of the most exclusive club in Lala-land - the happily married men brigade.  Newman and his wife Joanne Woodward have been happily married since the 1950s and remained a shining example of the fact that some Hollywood marriages can end in "happily ever after."

Newman will be remembered not only for his indelible mark on the Silver Screen, but as an avid race car driver, maker of salad dressing and tomato sauce & all-around good guy.  Long before Brangelina was saving the world, Newman was donating the profits from his lucrative line of condiments to causes around the world.

Bruno Baron Cohen Takes to the Runway

Sacha Baron Cohen is at it again.  He may have retired Borat, but Bruno, his equally un-PC, extremely gay alter ego, has taken his place annoying unsuspecting civilians around the world.

According to E!Online, while filming his next movie, "Bruno: Delicious Journeys Through America for the Purpose of Making Heterosexual Male," Cohen stormed the runway of Italian designer, Agatha Ruiz de la Prada during Milan fashion week.  Cohen somehow managed to make it all the way down the runway before being escorted out of the building.

I'll give it to the man.  He is not scared to put himself in the path of bodily harm to make a point.  (Watch the video above for a full few of Cohen's craziness on the runway)

Harry's a Hit!

Last night marked the opening of Daniel Radcliffe's Broadway bow in "Equus," the tale of a boy and his horse.  Sort of.  While most people purchased tickets to this show (which was a hit on London's West End due to large amounts of Harry Potter nudity), it turns out, the critics actually think the show is pretty good (or rather, they think Radcliffe and his co-star, Richard Griffiths are).  Check out what some of New York's more respected critics had to say:

NYTimes.com (Ben Brantley) - "The young wizard has chosen wisely. Making his Broadway debut in Thea Sharrock’s oddly arid revival of Peter Shaffer’s “Equus,” which opened Thursday night at the Broadhurst Theater, the 19-year-old film star Daniel Radcliffe steps into a mothball-preserved, off-the-rack part and wears it like a tailor’s delight — that is, a natural fit that allows room to stretch."

The Daily News (Joe Dziemianowicz) - "Let's get right to it - Daniel Radcliffe, the marquee man-boy and the reason "Equus" has trotted back to Broadway.  Yes, he's terrific and gives a passionate performance as Alan Strang, the 17-year-old stable hand who worships - and blinds - six horses. Yes, he's nude in a scene, but not gratuitously. And yes, he's (at least partially) in good company in the revival of Peter Shaffer's play, which intrigues but shows its age"

New York Post (Clive Barnes) - "Despite his almost total lack of stage experience - seven years of Potter in his magic kingdom suggest Shirley Temple rather than Laurence Olivier - Radcliffe, with his luminously intense eyes and fragile but wiry body, looks wonderfully right as Alan, the 17-year-old British boy besotted by everything equine.  His acting, beautifully understated and withdrawn, has just the right manner for this horribly mixed-up adolescent, at the prey of a wayward religiosity and a twisted sexuality cemented together with suburban hypocrisy"

So, it's official.  Daniel Radcliffe is going to turn out to be a good actor.  And if you haven't already purchased tickets to Equus (like yours truely), you sure aren't going to get them now.

Buffy's Back!

In a perfect world, "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" would've lived on indefinitely and we never would've had to wonder whatever happened to Sarah Michelle Gellar.  But things happen and Joss Whedon is off doing a show with the other slayer now.  So what is Sarah Michelle Gellar up to?

After a series of progressively less successful and less interesting movies ("The Grudge," "The Grudge 2," "The Return," "Southland Tales"), Gellar has finally decided to come back to the place that loves her best: television.

The former Buffy has signed on to star in the new HBO pilot, "The Wonderful Maladys," a script that sounds more "Cruel Intentions" than "Buffy."  Gellar will be one of three adult adult siblings who lost their parents at an early age.  Gellar's character is the least mature of the three, like "a drug addict - with a to-do list."

Here's hoping things work out for this show.  Lord knows Freddie Prinze Jr. isn't bringing home any moviemaking bacon lately.

Gervais to Take Over the Oscars?

There is no doubt that Ricky Gervais's back-and-forth, highly uncomfortable banter with Steve Carrell during last week's Emmy Awards was one of the highlights of the evening.  Such a highlight, in fact, that it immediately started a flurry of gossip about the British funnyman being offered a hosting gig of a much higher calibre for next season.

Reports earlier stated that Gervais had already been offered the hosting gig - passing by former hosts like Jon Stewart, Whoopi Goldberg, Chris Rock, Steve Martin and Billy Crystal (please, Billy, just host once more?  For old times sake?)  However, Oscar producer Larry Mark says that the rumor simply isn't true.  He says, "There hasn't been a single phone call.  There has been no reaching out."

No matter.  We can still imagine the unbelivable awkwardness that might occur if Gervais were to host the ratings-challenged show.  Telling directors that they're overrated.  Accepting awards on behalf of actors that are in the audience.  Or maybe just claiming them all in the name of "Extras."  Let the Oscar fun begin!

Depp+Burton+Alice=Perfection

Tim Burton and Johnny Depp are one of the best matched, weirdest Hollywood teams around.  Their strange, dark sensibilities mesh so well together that even the most nonsensical choices make sense when they present them.  Which makes their participation in the latest remake of "Alice in Wonderland" (itself one of the darker, more nonsensical children's stories of all time) seem like a no-brainer.

During a major presentation by Disney, the company announced that, as rumored, Johnny Depp will be taking on the role of The Mad Hatter in Burton's 3-D take on the story of the girl who falls down the rabbit hole.  If they couldn't cast Tom Petty in the part, there seems no better casting than Depp, who is obviously comfortable sporting wacky looks for Burton (see Edward Scissorhands, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Ed Wood, etc.)

Strangely, in addition, the company announced that Depp will also be taking on the role of Tonto in their "Lone Ranger" remake.  I'm not so interested in that.

I am interested in who else Burton will snare for the remake of one my favorite children's books.  I'm thinking Kathy Bates as the Queen of Hearts.  Seth Rogan as the Caterpillar.  And how much would I love to see Steve Carrell as the hyperactive White Rabbit?  What do you think?

Runway Rundown- Episode 11

Spoiler Alert- If you haven't seen the episode, don't bother looking.

Episode Title: Rock N' Runway

Challenge -  Create a look based on a musical genre for a fellow designer

Designer quote of the show -"Yo.  Kenley's gonna make an outfit for me.  She better not make it look like nineteen fif-ty." - Leann's rap

Judge quote of the show- It was all about the expressions.  LL Cool J's look when Leann came down the runway and when Kenley took off her vest.  Nina's grimace after Kenley gave her attitude.  Heidi's stare at the crotch on Leann's pants.

Strangest fun fact - Not only is Suede a slightly deluded designer, he also happens to be a classically trained cellist and pianist who's dressed a lot of pop stars in his day.

Oddball moment: Kenley's bizarre war with Tim Gunn.  How could she possibly continue to argue with Tim Gunn.  He could crush her with his well-manicured pinkie.

Weirdest look: Suede's runway hair.  He really did look like he should be in the drag queen challenge.

Winning designer: Korto

Winning look:

Losing designer:

Losing looks:

Drew's Got Something to Gossip About

This just in.  D just broke up with SuperMac, but our hip chick doesn't waste time.  Spotted. D. canoodling with none other than Chuck Bass.  You know you love me for that news.  XOXO.

Or, for those that don't speak Gossip Girl - Drew Barrymore has a new boyfriend and he's familiar to fans of the CW show.  Drew is continuing her trend of dating younger, uber-hipster types like Justin Long, Zach Braff, Fabrizio Moretti, etc. etc by picking up with Ed Westwick, who plays the baddest boy on Park Ave.

For photographic proof of this slightly bizarre, but not unexpected hook-up, check out this article.

And now for the real question of the day.... When are uber daters Drew and John Mayer going to get together?  If there was ever a match made in serial monogamy, I think it's that one.

Brace Yourselves: Lynn Spears Has a Point

Since Britney is working on keeping up the sanity thing and Jaime Lynn is busy taking care of her three-month old, Lynn Spears is stepping up to make sure that her family doesn't have to endure a moment out of the spotlight.  The elder Spears is currently on a press tour promoting her book, "Through the Storm: A Real Story of Fame and Family in a Tabloid World" AKA "How to Screw Up Your Daughters in 10 Easy Steps."

During the tour, Spears talked to Newsweek about some of the issues facing her famously screwy children and she did actually manage to make a good point.  As witnessed in the above paragraph, the media and public have not been kind to the Spears family about Jaime Lynn's situation.  And yet, when Sarah Palin's daughter, who is a year older than Jaime Lynn, came forward with her own teen pregnancy, the reaction was markedly different.

Spears comment on the situation was this, "It's a totally different reaction. It's as if [Sarah Palin] became celebrated. I mean, the mother, Palin, was celebrated for this. Every woman in the world has applauded her strength and her convictions and poor little old Jamie Lynn—you saw how she was crucified. Everybody did, firsthand ... I just feel like it's been a very hypocritical situation."  And when asked if she had any advice for the potential VPs family, she said, "I really can't give advice. I wouldn't give advice because everybody's situation is different. I would never tell anybody else what to do with their child. I would never attempt to make them think I knew more about their child. Even if they were to ask, I would tell them dig deep, what do you think?"

It is not untrue that kid gloves are being applied in a major way to Bristol Palin's pregnancy.  Should Lynn Spears and her family be treated any differently for being dropped in the middle of the same situation?  Interesting, considering that probably a few short months ago, the Spears family would've been right on top of the Palin bandwagon.  A touchy topic, I know, but an interesting question to ask.

"American Psycho" Sings

When you think Broadway musical, the first thing that comes to mind is probably not decapitation by chainsaw, eating people's brains or graphic violence against women.  Unless you're talking about "Sweeney Todd."  Or "Jeckyll and Hyde."  Or "Evil Dead: The Musical." Actually, come to think about it... Maybe "American Psycho" was destined for the Great White Way.

Bret Easton Ellis's controversial novel about serial killer/yuppie Patrick Bateman had a hard enough time coming to the screen in the form of a quasi-satire that eventually made Christian Bale a big ol' star.  Women groups protested, Hollywood protested, everyone protested.  And yet now, when Broadway has decided that the only way to make money is to bring already filmed material to the stage and add a little singing and dancing to it, Bateman's story seems like a not so illogical choice.

Part of the serial killer's M.O. is to murder his victims to choice '80s tunes by Huey Lewis and the News, Phil Collins and Whitney Houston.  Why shouldn't he big singing the songs when he chops 'em up?  Who wouldn't be curious to see the infamous business card throwdown as a full-fledged musical romp.  I'm warming up to this idea the more I think about.

So now that serial killers are headed to Broadway again, can the stage version of the "Buffy" musical be far behind?

It's About Time

That scream you heard outside your window that sounded like, "I TOLD YOU SO!!!"  That was Kathy Griffin's triumphant yell (or at least the one I imagined she gave) after seeing the cover of this week's "People" magazine. 

According to PerezHilton.com, Clay Aiken is on the cover of the current issue where he gives Claymates a first look at his new child, as well as outs himself to the country.  Although the details of the article are not yet available, it appears that Aiken has decided to come clean about the sexuality that has been questioned since his first appearance on the "American Idol" stage because of the little whipper-snapper that he fathered with producer Jaymes Foster .  Aiken is quoted on the cover as saying, "I cannot raise a child to lie or to hide things."

Okay, Ricky.  You're next.

The Most Talentless People in Hollywood

I came across a blog this morning, discussing the 10 least talented people in Hollywood.  While I do agree with many of their choices, in particular Paris Hilton and Steven Segal, I feel like a name or two is missing from this list of people who have no right to be as rich or successful as they are.

Tila Tequila - An internet quasi-porn queen who got famous by pimping herself out.  And now, of course, what she really wans to do is act.

Denise Richards - I will never understand how this woman got to be as famous as she is.  Every performance she ever gave resembled what I imagine would happen if a Barbie doll was given the magical ability to speak, but no one bothered to give her anything interesting to say.  (The only exception to this is "Drop Dead Gorgeous" were Richards' nasal delivery and blank stare where incredibly appropriate)

Heidi and Spencer- It's a lot to take that Lauren Conrad is famous, but at least the girl doesn't claim to sing and dance, too.  With every music video, pledge to a higher power or claim they're adopting children from Africa, Speidi comes closer and closer to being the least useful people in Hollywoodland.

Anyone in the casts of "Flavor of Love," "Rock of Love" or "I Love Money" - Yes, I fully admit that I watch all of these shows.  Doesn't mean they aren't populated with the most despicable, classless casts this side of "Baywatch."  What would happen if aliens invaded our world years from now and the only evidence they found of our species were these shows?

Who else would you add to this last of Hollywood unjustices?

Cook Will Lose His Mojo?

For a long time, I thought that maybe people were giving Dane Cook too hard of a time.  No, I don't think his stand-up act is funny (at least to anyone sober enough to actually listen to what he's saying), but he's given a decent performance or two in his time (giving credit, he's quite good in "Mr. Brooks.")  However, then I hear stories like this one and I think that maybe people need to be giving him a harder time.

Cook has been in court since last August, fighting an eviction notice on his apartment, sayiing that he'd violated decency laws by not picking up after his dog.  Ummm, ew.  Cooks argument against the eviction is the real issue.  He's tried to convince the judge that his apartment has supernatural qualities that are imperative to his artistic integrity (heehee).  Both John Belushi and Steve Martin are former occupants of Cook's pad and Cook believes that his apartment gives off magical writing vibes that allow him to write at his creative peak.  Sorry, Cook, but your peak ain't nowhere near Belushi or Martin and don't even bother thinking that it is.

Cook recently gave up his battle and has moved into a $7 million house in the Hollywood Hills where I'm sure he'll have a lot more room to not pick up after his dog.  Ew.

"90210" Around for the Full Season

Jennie Garth can rest easy.  Her job is secure at least until the end of the year.  Despite a drop in audience from their smash first week, a luke-wam reaction from audiences and rumors that nearly everything female in the cast is anorexic, bulemic or both, "90210" has been given a full season pick up.

This means more bad acting from Naomi, renditions of "Mama Who Bore Me," pointless cameos by Jennie Garth and tons of scenery chewing from Jessica Walter.  Happily, the writing staff is taking a step in the right direction to put this show on a better track.  Rebecca Rand-Kirshner, one of the many "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" scribes (others of whom have gone on to write for "24," "Lost," "Heroes," "Gilmore Girls" and every other good show on television) will be stepping up to the position of head writer on the show.  Considering that her track record includes episodes of not only "Buffy," but "Freaks and Geeks" and "Gilmore Girls," we can only hope for better dialogue than lines involving the words "puss" and "Dylan's his father!"

Reflecting on the 60th Emmy Awards

As always, I tuned into the Emmys this year with a mixture of anticipation and dread.  Maybe this will be the year, I thought, when something mind-blowingly cool will happen to entertain me.  All the people I root for will win their well-deserved awards and I won't want to kick myself for having sat through a 3-hour long back-patting fest.

Like always, the show didn't quite live up to expectation, except in the fact that the hosts, presenters and audience alike all seemed rather bitter about having to be there in the first place.  There were a few shining examples of what is right and wrong about awards show like this one.  Here are some of my favorites.

BEST:

- "30 Rock" won four Emmys last night.  The world has finally caught up to the fact that she is the coolest woman on earth.  And it's about time.  And the fact that Alec Baldwin called Tina Fey the new "Elaine May."  Here, here.

- Ricky Gervais and Steve Carrell's "Give me my Emmy" bit.  I don't know about you, but it took me a while before I realized that Carrell was in on the joke.  No one does awkward silences like those two.

- Stephen Colbert and Jon Stewart splitting the variety show awards down the middle, but still losing to Don Rickles in the end.  I know it probably wouldn't end well, but I still want them to run the country.

- Kathy Griffin's reactions to Don Rickles.  I'm choosing to ignore her TERRIBLE extensions to focus on the fact that no one has ever silenced Kathy Griffin at an awards show.  And she was completely lost.

- Tina Fey and Amy Poehler's award presentation.  Because they are equally hilarious separately and together.  And Jeremy Piven molesting Poehler's unborn child before he went up to accept his award.

- Betty White for still having the best timing in Hollywood.

- The wins for the little guys like "Mad Men," Bryan Cranston and Zeljko Ivanec.  It's so nice to know the Academy voters are actually watching all of their screeners for once.

- Mr. Steven Martin's presentation to Tommy Smothers.  "Hi." "How did you know?"  Heehee.

WORST

- They tried hard, but the five reality hosts' bits should have been cut down to about 5 minutes of gags.  Cause, man, was the audience not having it.  VIP of the bunch, though, Tom Bergeron.  I honestly couldn't tell whether he wanted to kill himself or is just an entirely credible actor.

- Josh Groban's theme song medley.  Not because he did a terrible job.  He did the best he could, all things considered. And he does a mean Cartman and Don Pardo. But the poor guy was up there for 5 minutes with three second song clips and a kickline during the song, "Suicide is Painless?"  What were they thinking? 

-The fact that the majority of the jokes made last night were mean and bitter.  We have officially reached the age of sarcasm in Hollywood and it was clear, from the jokes about last year's show to the political jokes or lack thereof, or the fact that Howie Mandel singlehandedly killed everyone else's "bits" in the show, that Hollywood was REALLY unhappy to be there.

Anything I'm forgetting?

Barker and DJ AM in Plane Crash

Over the weekend, Travis Barker (of the band Blink-182 and "Meet the Barkers") and DJ AM (AKA, Adam Goldberg of dating many starlets inbetween DJ gigs) were in a plane crash that killed the four other passengers on the flight, including Barker's assistant and security guard.

The famous pair escaped by jumping out of the airplane just before it exploded, although both were severely burned.  Barker has suffered burns all over the lower part of his body while DJ AM has facial burns.  Both are expected to make a full recovery.

Hollywood immediately responded to the crash by gathering to wait for updates on the pair's condition.  Since the crash, Barker's ex-wife Shanna Moakler, producer Jermaine Dupri and DJ AM ex-girlfriend Mandy Moore have all been spotted in North Carolina where the pair are being held.

Obviously, our thoughts are with them and their families.

Vaughn and Favreau sign up for Couples Therapy

"Swingers" frontmen and the most hyped comedy boys team of the late '90s/early '00s (behind Matt and Ben, of course) Vince Vaughn and Jon Favreau are reuniting onscreen once again.  And it sounds like it might be  a good match up.

The pair, along with fellow funnymen Jason Bateman (Yay!) and Faizon Love are going to "Couples Therapy" along with their onscreen spouses.  My guess?  Vaughn is a cad who's only going for the free vacation.  Favreau and Love are not quite as caddish, but are encouraged by Vaughn's wild ways.  And Bateman is the sensitive one who gets the crazy brought out of him while in therapy.  Sound about right?

Even if the movie drags up every frat boy comedy plot point you can think of, it's always fun to see these fan favorites bounce off of each other.  I'll get my ticket early.

Downey Jr will have the Law behind him

Contrary to rumors (that, ahem, may or may not have been reported here) that Russell Crowe would be strapping on the Watson glasses to aide Robert Downey Jr's Sherlock Holmes, it appears there will be a different Watson to say elementary to.

Jude Law, who went from being everywhere just a few short years ago to absolutely nowhere, has come out of hiding to sign on to the role of Holmes's slightly more sensible wingman.  Between this role and his part in the upcoming, "The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus," is it possible that Law will flame himself out once again?

Hmmm, I doubt it.  Playing second fiddle in both films will probably serve him well.  And he can leave all the tabloid talk to his far more visible for no good reason ex, Sienna Miller.

The Elusive Dylan McKay

Looks like Kelly Taylor's baby won't be getting a full-time father any time soon.  According to E!Online, Luke Perry has absolutely no intention of reprising his role as ultimate bad boy, Dylan McKay.  Which is particularly upsetting considering that only this week, the new "90210" let slip that Dylan was indeed the father of Kelly's baby.

While Perry has forthrightly said that he has no intention of returning to the show from which he sprang, maybe audiences shouldn't give up hope just yet.  Perry was equally determined when he originally parted ways with "Beverly Hills 90210" in the late '90s, saying that he had better parts to play.  However, after a succession of box office bombs (anyone remember "8 Seconds"?  Yeah, didn't think so.) and Lifetime movies, Perry went back on his word and returned for the final season of the original "90210."

While Perry is currently signed to play a cult leader on "Law and Order: SVU" and I certainly hope that his career takes him in a direction that won't involve needing another comeback, there is always a bit of hope that he'll slip back into the McKay brood one more time.

Brad Pitt Continues to Singlehandedly Save the World

I'll hand it to Brad Pitt.  He has done an excellent job of making everyone forget that he left his wife for another woman.  Granted, I'm sure his good deeds have nothing to do with polishing his image, but man, it is a nice side effect.

Pitt has donated $100,000 to fight an initiative to ban gay marriage in California.  According to E!Online, Pitt had this to say about his reasons for donating such a large chunk of change to the cause.  "Because no one has the right to deny another their life, even though they disagree with it, because everyone has the right to live the life they so desire if it doesn't harm another and because discrimination has no place in America, my vote will be for equality and against Proposition 8."

Pitt and his many, many baby-momma, Angelina Jolie have also stated that they will not marry until every single person in the US has the right to trade vows.  Really does make it hard to be angry at them, doesn't it?

Hilary Swank Hospitalized

But not to worry, she's a tough gal.

Swank took a precautionary measure when she felt a little discomfort and decided to get checked out at the hospital after finishing filming of her latest movie, "Amelia" - a biopic about famous lady flier Amelia Earhart.

Doctors decided to take immediate, but not so serious action, and performed surgery to move a small, benign growth from Swank's person.  According to her publicist, she's recovering well.  Oh, to be so famous that having a little bump removed at the hospital becomes a breaking story on newsfeeds.

Runway Rundown-Episode 10

Spoiler Alert- If you haven't seen the episode, don't bother looking.

Episode Title: Transformation

Challenge -  Create a look for a college girl transitioning into the working world. 

Designer quote of the show -"Lea-tha.  And since Stella's gone, I'm the queen of leather now."- Korto or "Come on, Joe, you  can work on Nancy Reagan tomorrow." - Jarrell

Judge quote of the show-  "You thought, "Yay!  Someone just like me!  You found your mini-me." - Heidi to Kenley or "It was all Becky Home-Ecie.  She almost looked like a working girl." - Michael Kors

D'uh moment - Kenley and Joe both questioning Tim Gunn's opinion.  Have you never watched this show????  NEVER question Tim Gunn's opinion.  He's Tim Gunn.  He knows what he's talking about.

Oddball moment: Kenley and her mini-me snickering on the runway.

Weirdest accessory - Jarrell's hat on the runway.  Was he wearing a plant?

Winning designer: Jarrell

Winning look:

Losing designer: Joe (See.  You NEVER question Tim Gunn!)

Losing looks:

Carrie Bradshaw: The Early Years

Just when we thought we were going to have to give up the Manolos and go back to a world without Carrie Bradshaw, Candace Bushnell is throwing the women of America another "Sex and the City" bone... or rather, she's introducing a whole new generation to the world of Carrie.

Bushnell has just signed on to write two young adult books about a high school aged Carrie (books that are sure to give the ones penned by Carrie-wannabe Lauren Conrad a run for their money).  According to Pop Sugar.com, teenage Carrie will be the leader of her social crew and a trend setter for the high school set.  So more "Gossip Girl", less "Square Pegs."

Personally, I don't quite buy it.  I think writer Carrie Bradshaw was probably a bit of a misfit.  I don't remember too many "mean girl" types from my high school days up and moving to New York to become sex columnists.  Hopefully, teen Carrie will maintain her quirk without giving it to the shine of being a popular kid.  And if she does, well, hopefully, Miranda will make a cameo in all her brace-faced glory (cause you know she had them).

O'Neals and Drugs Don't Mix

It has been a bad, bad year for the O'Neals and their drug abuse issues.  Only a few months have passed since Tatum O'Neal was busted for drug possession (which she claimed was actually research for a part).  And now, it seems that dad Ryan O'Neal has passed the drug gene onto his son, Redmond as well.

TMZ reports that both the elder and younger O'Neal were booked on suspicion of narcotics possession this morning.  Redmond was caught with methamphetamines while Ryan has some meth of his own hidden in his bedroom.

Which brings to mind one of my favorite commercials from the '80s.   Tatum.  Redmond.  Why didn't you ever say, "You, Dad, I learned it from watching you."

Colbert Conquers Christmas

He's conquered the news.  He's conquered Bill O'Reilly.  He's conquered conquering things.  And now, Stephen Colbert is ready to conquer Christmas.

In the spirit of the great Christmas variety shows of the '70s and '80s, Colbert will be hosting an all-star gathering around a toasty fire where I'm sure he'll roast chestnuts and croon Bing Crosby tunes.  To prove he's serious about this conquering thing, he's enlisted the help of stars like Elvis Costello, Fiest, Toby Keith, John Legend and Willie Nelson to help him bring the cheer.  Even better, there will be a whole batch of new holiday songs entered into the lexicon as Stephen is joined by special guests to sing tunes like "Have I Got a Present for You," Little Dealer Boy," "There Are Worse Things to Believe In" and the one I'm most eagerly anticipating, "Hannukah" a duet with Jon Stewart, of course.

In New York, there will be special screenings of the episode on Sept. 17, 18 and 23 (sadly, it looks like they are already sold out), but you can watch the special from the comfort of your home on Nov. 23.

Already Added to My TiVO

Had enough of the legal procedural shows that fight the same cases with the same lawyer protoypes week after week?  Well, so have I and Aintitcool.com reported the development of a mid-season show that promises to take legal drama in an entirely new direction.

Fox is developing a show entitled "Georgia and the Seven Associates."  The pitch?  A lawyer is banished from her firm by her evil stepmother and joins a wacky boutique firm with seven even wackier associates in it.  Sound familiar?  The associates share the traits of the Disnified versions of the seven dwarfs.  Doc will be an ambulance chaser.  Sleepy will be a night-owl bike messenger, etc.  And even better, some of the cases will be battled with fairytale messages.  People lose their houses to the Wolf corporation.  Maybe Wolf Co. takes away Grandma's medication funds and tries to chop down a beanstalk or two.

Such a promising concept.  I hope they do it right.

"90210" Summary Report

Spoiler Alert: If you haven't seen this episode, don't bother reading.

Other Alert: I know the rest of the world is losing interest in the show, but I amuse myself with this, so it's going.

Number of lines uttered by Jennie Garth: It was looking dicey for the first 50 minutes of the episode, but by the end, I'd say we broke double digits.  Maybe 15. 

MVP of the episode: Jessica Walter, Jessica Walter, Jessica Walter.  She should have a show where she does wacky things all by herself.  I'd watch.

Pressing question: Did they only buy the rights to one song from "Spring Awakening?"  The show has a lot of other songs in it, too.

What makes this episode special: Some of the worst acting and writing witnessed in either inception of "90210."  And that's saying something.

Worst Acting Award: Anna Lynn McCord.  I've met Charisma Carpenter.  I know Charisma Carpenter (okay, not really), and you, Anna Lynn, are no Charisma Carpenter.  Our Cordelia-light was asked to do all kinds of emoting and the best she could come up with was a wrinkled nose.  Ugh.

Pressing question # 2: Did Shannen Doherty have that gap in her teeth in the first incarnation of "90210" or did she get it in a bar fight?

Best moment of the episode: Jessica Walter showing her pupils how to sing "Mama Who Bore Me" with feeling.  I want her to star in "Spring Awakening" something fierce.

Blast from the past: Dixon getting a job at The Peach Pit where Nat got to wax philosophic about Brandon Walsh.  Like we didn't all see that coming?  Brenda and Kelly talking about Donna and her adorable baby.  I'm going to assume the baby's daddy isn't David Silver.

Laugh out loud moment: Brenda Walsh got to play "Hedda Gabbler."  Puh-lease.

Moment that made me shout "I KNEW IT": After excrutiatingly referring to "Sammy's dad" and "he" for three episodes straight, we finally know who Kelly's baby-daddy is.  And even though they tried like crazy to fake us out with talk about a do-gooder father traveling the world, we all knew it was going to be Dylan.  And that he's going to show up in Beverly Hills eventually.

Dropped plot line: Whatever happened to the mysterious illegitimate child that Rob Estes' had with Naomi's mom?  Or for that matter, what happened to Naomi's friendship with the druggie/kleptomaniac star of the show?  Like we would forget.

Amy Poehler Breaks My Heart a Little

As evidenced by Amy Poehler's larger-than-average belly in last week's episode of "Saturday Night Live," the time has almost come for her to depart the legendary sketch comedy show.  Although Lorne Michaels and Co. (who often fly by the seat of their pants as far as cast changes go) had announced that Poehler would leave the show at some point during this season to begin a full-time job as Tina Fey 2.0, Poehley has now announced that her departure will come sooner than expected.

One of the funniest ladies to grace the SNL stage (in my opinion), Poehler will leave the show on her scheduled maternity leave, never to return as a full cast member again.  This does not bode particularly well for SNL, which now boasts only three (soon to be two) female cast members.  And regardless of what certain people (ehem, Jerry Lewis) have said, it is the female comedians that tend to carry "Saturday Night Live" in their leaner years.  Poehler will be greatly missed (particularly since I'm bitter that I went to school with new featured cast member Casey Wilson and am tired of all these people being more successful than me). 

In any case, once Poehler has produced what is sure to be an amazingly funny baby (I expect it will be doing bad magic tricks on one leg in the delivery room), I am hoping that her mid-season NBC replacement will be "30 Rock" good.  And that her husband, Will Arnett, will make many guest appearances on it.  And that all will be right with the world.

The End of An Era

It is the end of an era and a sign that it is really time for me to stop watching MTV.  The "music" network has decided to temporarily lay "Total Request Live" to rest, leaving viewers to wonder "Wait, MTV was still playing music videos?"

But seriously, folks, TRL was up there with "American Bandstand" and "Soul Train" and yes, even "Dance Party USA" as one of the most influential music shows on television.  It introduced to Carson Daly (or as I like to remember him, "Hi, I'm Carson Daly and I'm a tool") and knife and Nick Lachey loving Vanessa Manillo and Jesse Camp (anyone remember him?  I watched him compete to be an MTV VJ live in Washington Square Park my sophmore year of college) and Dave Holmes (who should've won that year).  It started more feuds and produced more awkward moments than just about any other show on MTV (and that's saying something) and it remains the place for tweens to squeal with glee as people too old to still watch the network plug their latest album, movie or television show.  And strangely, as a show that celebrates all that's fluffy and superficial in pop culture, it will have a place in history.

MTV will be replacing TRL with a show hosted by Pete Wentz that features new and viewer-voted videos and in-studio performances... which sounds an awful lot like TRL.  What?  Wentz didn't like the name?

Maguire Saves the Day for Baby Spidey

Guess those rumors about Jake Gyllenhaal once again weren't true.  Tobey Maguire has signed a groundbreaking deal to reprise his role as Spidey in not one, but two more "Spiderman" films, all while playing hero to working Hollywood fathers everywhere.

Maguire agreed to strap on the red and blue suit for six straight months in order to shoot "Spiderman 4 and 5" back to back with one major contract stipulation.  He would only do it if the studio allowed him early morning and evening time "family" time to spend with his daughter, Ruby Sweetheart. (Yes, we'll even forgive him for naming his daughter Ruby Sweetheart for demanding it).  Shockingly, studio reps weren't appreciative of Maguire's family values until studio head Amy Pascal, also a mom, stepped in and approved the deal.

So Maguire gets quality time to spend with his child and I'm pretty sure he'll find plenty of ways to amuse her with the $50 million paycheck he's bringing home for the movie.  It's almost like Norma Rae.  Except without the poverty and Sally Field.

Punk Has Love For J. Hud

Man, Jennifer Hudson is on a roll.  Think about the last five years of this woman's life.  "American Idol" to a dream role in "Dreamgirls" which led directly to an Oscar which in turn led to getting to hang out with Carrie Bradshaw.  Her debut album is on the way.  And now, she's topping it off by getting married.  And did I mention she's, what, 27 years old?  Could I feel any less accomplished?

My favorite part about Hudson's engagement is that she's marrying someone that VH1 audiences should already be familiar with.  Hudson is marrying David Otunga, aka "Punk" from season 2 of "I Love New York."  If you'll recall, "Punk" was the serious and seriously pumped-up lawyer who always seemed a little too classy to be slumming it with Tiffany Pollard.

As we all know, VH1 "reality" TV isn't exactly true-to-life, so who knows what Otunga is like out of the New York house.  But I'm hoping he really is the nice guy that he seemed to be on that show and Hudson continues her lucky streak.

I Propose A Fey/Poehler Ticket

No more talk of media bias for Barack Obama.  Looks like they were just waiting until someone more interesting that John McCain came along to represent the right.  The latest in Sarah Palin news is that....she watched Saturday Night Live!  Incredibly exciting, I know.  The newsworthy part of this story, however, is that she was watching her doppelganger mock her mercilessly.  And Tina Fey's impression is the talk of the watercooler this morning.

Fey's dead-on impression of Palin during the opening sketch of SNL was a huge hit with both the media and the public on Saturday night.  Fey and Amy Poehler as Hillary Clinton pulled no punches while making fun of Palin's MILF status and lack of policy experience along with Clinton's Flurge (no, I can't figure out what that means) status and bitterness at having lost the race.

According to Palin's camp, the VP candidate found the sketch hilarious.  Good thing, because the rest of the world did too.  Saturday's episode of SNL was the most watched since 2002's Al Gore hosted episode.  Palin is a big enough fan of Fey's that she even dressed up as the funny lady for Halloween (which involved what exactly?  Wearing a name tag that said, "Hi, I'm Tina Fey."

Lohan vs. Palin: Myspace Edition

I can't say that I'm a fan or even appreciator of Lindsay Lohan.  I really enjoyed her in "The Parent Trap" and it's been downhill since then.  But when I saw that Lohan had posted a diatribe against Sarah Palin on her myspace blog, I will admit to being curious.  Like the rest of us, celebrities don't always understand that writing something in a blog means that the entire world has access to it and Lohan has certainly lost her marbles previously in this public writing space.

So what do we learn from Lohan's posting about Sarah Palin's candidacy for Vice President (which you can read here: http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=29730276&blogID=432883808).  Mostly, that Lohan is, at least for now, a full fledged lover of women.  She's all about cutting down Palin's position on homosexuality and surprisingly, does it in an quasi-informed and intelligent way.  As she and "girlfriend" Samantha Ronson are functioning as one unit in this blog, I think we've also learned that they now share a brain as well as every photo opportunity.

Like everyone else, I've come to think of Lindsay Lohan as a party-girl on her way to oblivion.  But every once in a while, you remember that she is a real person with opinions and that's kind of fascinating to see, regardless of your political orientation.  And hey, if Lohan is political, that means it's officially cool for tweens to be political.  Rock that vote, La Lohan.  Rock it.

Let's Hear It For the Funny Girls

It always, always warms my heart when the right people win the big corporate prizes that maybe mean that not all awards show voting is totally fixed.  So my heart was uber-warm after hearing the list of winners during the pre-Emmy Creative Arts Emmy show, which hands out all of the behind-the-scenes awards, as well as guest actor prizes.

At Saturday night's award show, the un-PC women were the proud victors, which just makes me smile.  Kathy Griffin took home her second consecutive award for her reality show, "Life on the D-List" beating out nemisies Cesar Milan and "Extreme Home Makeover."  Last year, Griffin landed in some hot water after telling a certain deity to suck it on stage.  This year, she played the moment a little classier, as heayweights like Tom Hanks and James Gandolfini were in the house.  Instead, Griffin offered to make sweet love to her new best friend and left it at that.

In other exciting news (see side panel), Sarah Silverman took home a prize for her viral video hit, "I'm F***ing Matt Damon."  Silverman was equally gracious with her award, taking only a brief swipe at her now ex-boyfriend, Kimmel, saying "Thanks to the person for whom this whole video was made: Jimmy Kimmel, who broke my heart — ohh, who'll always have a place in my heart."

How could you not love these ladies?

Dark Side of the Osbournes

Jack Osbourne is tired of the kinder, gentler, dottier version of his father that America came to know and love during "The Osbourne"s tenure on MTV.  He wants to world to know: His father is dark. (Yeah, cause we all forgot about that whole bat-head incident)

Variety reports that Jack's production company will be producing a documentary on the darker side of Ozzy Osbourne, set to coincide with the rock legend's 60th birthday.  The younger Osbourne explained that because of his father's severe dyslexia, a memoir was out of the question.  So, a documentary it is and one that is hardly as sugar-coated as the MTV show (profanity and all) turned out to be.

Ozzy and wife Sharon Osbourne (soon to be the host of VH1s "Charm School: Rock of Love) are financing the pic, which leads to the question: Exactly how un-sugary will this movie be?  I'm sure we'll get the eating of the bat, the drug problems, the spill off the tractor that ruined Ozzy's back for good... but what about the fact that he tried to strangle Sharon? Why Kelly was sporting that serious shiner recently?  When Jack went from teen in rehab to respectable producer? Or the problems the rest of his family have run into in the last few years?  Will they acknowledget that that third kid actually exists?  Will Jaime Foxx or Joaquin Phoenix play Ozzy in the bio-pic that's sure to follow?  Only time will tell.

Celebrity Changeling?

I know I am most likely not the first person to make this discovery, but it's one that needs to be shared.  I was flipping through some pictures over at TMZ and paused at one thinking, "Wow, Keith Richards looks terrible."  Until I realized that I was actually looking at a picture of Amy Winehouse, who is slowly, but surely, morphing into the "Rolling Stones" guitarist.  Except at this point, I think Mr. Richards might actually be in better shape than she is.

Considering Winehouse's startling transformation over the last few years, I have a new theory. 

Winehouse started out like this:

And blossomed like this:

But then right around the time when her popularity began to peak, Keith Richards decided it was time to inhabit a new body.  So, he stole Amy Winehouse's.  And slowly, but surely, he's sucking the life right out of her.

Ever need a way to keep your kids off of drugs?  Show them the long, hard fall of Amy Winehouse.  They'll never want to touch the stuff.

Mary Kate and Ashley Cause a Ruckus

Once again, Mary Kate and Ashley are causing a stir in the streets of New York.  You'd think they'd driven a car into a kitchen or something.

The West Village neighbors of Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen are up in arms because of the twins' hard partying lifestyle.  Neighbors are complaining that the girls, who rent a $12,000 a month apartment on W. 13th St., are getting home at all hours in their party attire, causing a ruckus with their crazy friends and are ruining the atmosphere of the neighborhood by having bodyguards posted around their door 24/7.  This on the heels of a claim that the girls trashed their last apartment.

Now, I'm sure the former Michelles probably are on the wild side and probably do get obnoxious from time to time.  And it is true, as neigbors claim, that other stars in the neighborhood like Sarah Jessica Parker, Matthew Broderick and Liv Tyler are very quiet and keep to themselves.  But here's the thing...

I used to live in a dorm across the street from the Olsen's apartment.  I know exactly what that neighborhood is like.  And I guarantee that the Olsen twins are no more rowdy than the groups of NYU kids that come streaming down 5th Avenue from sundown to sun up.  Don't claim that your neighborhood is completely quiet and peaceful, neighbors.  You do live in beautiful apartments, but you also live less than a half mile from NYU's campus and we all know, those kids aren't known for being quiet.  So maybe, just maybe, Mary Kate and Ashley are just trying to fit in.

Lauren Conrad Aiming for a Pulitzer?

Lauren Conrad, reality TV star.  Lauren Conrad, fashion designer.  Lauren Conrad, celebrity maker.  Lauren Conrad.... author?

In an announcement that ranks right up there with Heidi Montag thinking she'll have a legitimate career as a singer, Lauren Conrad has signed a three-book deal with Harper Collins.  The famous-for-no-discernable reason megastar is going to "pen" three young adult books in a series called "LA Candy" that will be loosely based on Conrad's experiences since becoming the real life version of "The Truman Show."

Considering that Conrad and friends have a rough time stringing together enough sentences to fill out full episodes of "The Hills" with dialogue, I'm betting Conrad might have a little help in the writing arena.  Or perhaps, as with her fashion line, she'll be hands on in supervising while people who deserve the credit do the hard stuff.... Not that I'm bitter about it or anything.

Things It Is Not Cool to Do to Roger Ebert

File this under things is is totally not cool to do.  At the Toronto Hilm Festival on Saturday, there was a bit of a kerfuffle during a screening of director Danny Boyle's new movie, "Slumdog Millionaire."

According to the Rush and Molloy, the lights went down and a man started yelling, "Don't touch me."  A few minutes passed and it happened again.  Suddenly, the yeller stands up out of the audience and hits the "toucher" with a binder.  This probably would've been kind of funny if not for the fact that the man doing the hitting was a critic from the New York Post and the man getting hit was... Roger Ebert (pictured here with his wife, Chazz before his illness).

Due to his issues with cancer, Ebert no longer has the ability to speak and was only trying to signal to the man that he couldn't see.  In general, theater rage is not cool.  Smacking a man with cancer, in particular Roger Ebert, is a whole 'nother level beyond.

I hope that critic gets a good ol' smacking of his own.  Not cool, man, not cool.

Kanye vs. TMZ

There is nothing Kanye West loves more (excluding himself) than picking a fight.  But this time, the opponent he picked may be formidable to get in the last word.

Late this afternoon, West was arrested at LAX when he tried to relieve a paparazzi of his camera.  Events like this happen all the time in Lala land, but when TMZ gets involved, the situation gets a lot messier.  West's bodyguard noticed a TMZ paparazzi videotaping Kanye's tantrum and attempted to knock that cameraman's camera out of his hands.  Then the police got involved.  And then the TMZ photographer called his office.  In 2.5 seconds, the entire world knew about Kanye's arrest.  And they've been getting details ever since.

For the continuing Kanye saga, including video of the camera smack heard all round LAX, go here.

$10 bucks says the first thing Kanye does when he gets out of jail is go home to angry blog about it.  But sometimes it's not worth it to fight the press, Kanye.  Just ask Sean Penn.